Can I take a moment to salute the crafting detail that has gone into the House of the Orange Monkey's World of Hats. Clearly bonkers, but the monkey is considerably more a) stylish and b) well travelled than me.

'Mr Monkey's police helmet was made from felt on a card former, with the badge and fittings made from metallic foiled card in silver, gold and red and a chin strap of black sticky-back plastic.
His whistle is foil covered bit of plastic tube and his truncheon is thinish dowel, painted with gloss Humbrol.'